Thursday, February 10, 2011

It makes for a lousy next day

Some days are harder than others. I mean, you know the days, when you wake up after dreaming about something tragic in your life. It's far beyond the spider nightmare, the falling nightmare, the running naked through the mall nightmare.

It's a memory that creeps into your head when you have no force to push it out, and there it is, in your dream. It could be a deceased person or pet, that meant a lot to you. A car accident that changed your life. Some kind of abuse you endured. A child's illness that was horrific, you wondered if that child would make it. The list goes on, you know the dream, we all have them.

It's all there in your head, no matter what you've done to get past it. No matter how long ago it was in your life from today. It happened, you were there, no one, nothing, stopped it from happening. So you wake up crying, or wincing, or sweating, or cramped up, or get up and gently sit beside your child and give them a kiss on the forehead. Crawling back into bed, you swear your dreams will be better for the rest of the night, and then you just don't sleep until the wee hours of the morning, and end up sleeping hard.

It makes for a lousy next day.

I had one of those such dreams recently. I dreamt about the Car crash I was in at age 24, that changed my life forever. Prior to the crash, I had just found my love for exercise, I was in the best shape of my life, and life was very positive. I had everything going for me, a great job, a place of my own, a new kitten, taking college courses and was having a blast just dating in the 20 something world. Then some guy, doing whatever he was doing in his big pick-up truck, slammed into still traffic injuring 5 people in one instant. I don't even remember the actual accident really. I remember though, the aftermath, a whole bunch of people coming up to my car, checking to see if I was OK. The police coming up, asking questions, and the EMT's checking for any outstanding injuries, and seeing one of the drivers all bloody in the face, and being taken away in the ambulance. Then the Ray of Light after that. My Father, My Dad, My Daddy, driving northbound on Highway 101, saw me standing by the side of the road. Somehow he was beside me in mere minutes, even in the heavy traffic.

I don't remember the rest of that day, except my dad took me back his house and put me to bed. I slept. And woke up the next morning with whiplash and a messed up back.
My exercising, the level I was at, diminished. I lost out on a lot of work because of the doctor appointments. My outlook and fun times went from happy! to eh, and my college studies suffered. I wonder how the lives of the other victims panned out? I'll never know. All because that guy wasn't paying attention.

I wonder if those other people dream about the accident too, actually I'm pretty sure they do.

No comments:

Post a Comment